Dating and Politics.
Why one question became so important in 2020
I’m not well versed in the crowded and loud world of politics. I’m even worse at dating, but I try to stay current in both subjects. Your friends and family will likely tell you that dating and politics don’t mix. I will tell you that they do. It seems to be more clear than ever during this election year. The battle lines have been drawn and if you’re within earshot of any news source you’ve heard about how divisive we’ve become as a nation. Red or Blue? Republican or Democrat? Which one are you?
I am more interested in a different question this year. In 2020 it’s not about Republican or Democrat for me. It’s about whether you’re a Trump supporter. That’s the question I’m asking. That’s where I draw the line and that’s all I need to know. Here’s why.
I was raised to believe political affiliation didn’t matter among friends. I was also raised not to talk about it. Polite women didn’t talk about politics, we left that tilted stage to the men. Now we don’t have a choice, we have to talk about it as more women than ever are entering the political arena. My father was a Republican, my mother a Democrat. I married and divorced a Republican. I live in a Republican state. It was just this year I started noticing a pattern within my relationships. Much to my horror, I was unwittingly friends with more Trump supporters than I’d like to admit. It was the dirty little secret that stayed hidden among the shadows behind the guise of the Republican flag. But we all know we’re dealing with a different kind of breed. It has become the elephant in the room we can no longer ignore because this particular elephant is breaking every damn thing in the house.
As a mother to two small children, I can’t afford to be idealistic and think this is a divide we can bridge in our relationships right now. I need to know if you support a man who says, “Grab ’em by the pussy” because I’ll promptly swipe left and save us both the heartache. That’s not the kind of man I want my children to see as a leader of our country. That’s damn sure not the kind of man I want in my home influencing me and my children with that kind of sexist disrespect. The answer to this one simple question will determine how your friend, spouse, or partner treats you and your loved ones. It’s an uncomfortable conversation that needs to be had right out of the dating gate. If you value respect, understanding, kindness, and compassion you’re going to want to know which side of that wrought iron fence he’s on. “Do you support Trump?” is one personal but extremely important question that can seriously narrow your dating pool and save you so much time and effort. So ask the question, and whatever your beliefs on Trump or politics, make sure you are looking for a partner that aligns with your values and beliefs. Sure, opposites can attract, but some differences just can’t be reconciled.
Nevermind being in the middle of a pandemic that makes dating that much more difficult. We can’t meet in person and there wouldn’t be anywhere to have a drink with your newest Tinder or Hitch match if we could. So it’s more important than ever to cut through the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matters that are most important to you, before you land in the lap of the perfect guy that 10 years and two kids later, you learn isn’t so perfect for you.
Maybe once this election is over we can get back to being able to ask better questions and overcome those differences that so deeply divide us. Maybe with a new President, this pandemic will become more manageable, our economy will eventually recover, the unrested can finally rest, and we will all find a way to march forward together. We might even be a little lighter on our feet. I know when I decide it’s time to get back out there, one of my first questions on my next dating profile will be, “Did you support Trump?”
